What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Is the Trump-Zelenskyy meeting a preview of what the US is going to do to Taiwan?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why do I (45, male) feel like I'm crushing on a girl (19, female)?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What does it mean if you dream your dad died?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What would happen if the Earth stopped spinning for one minute?

Do you know what she said mum?